![]() Teach your kids enough to complain but not enough to make a difference: College Teacher.Help people lie consistently to their bosses: Business Intelligence Consultant.Show you innovative ways to burn money in the spirit of patriotism: Fireworks Stand Manager.Learn laws created ages ago so that I can tell engineers why I'm smarter than they are while complaining how it's a travesty that they get paid more: Physics major.Explain big words to sales people and then cower before customers while trying to convince them that the sales people really didn't say what the customers understood: Customer Solutions Engineer.Take numbers on pieces of paper, rearrange them and put them on different pieces of paper: Tax Accountant.Read things that don't matter, then write papers saying they do matter, for points that don't matter, in order to get a job doing something totally unrelated: Student.Over on the Dilbert Blog, Scott Adams gave his readers an assignment: “describe your own job in one sentence, preferably in a humorously derogatory way.” Here are the best replies from among the hundreds, with the top 10 at the end. Because people describing their own jobs is a lot funnier than having HR do it.
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